Spooky Therapy

Been working on losing weight the past two weeks: working out in the morning and tracking my food. Besides the uncomfort of actually waking up early, working out, and not eating everything in sight, I realized that a certain unhappiness is bubbling up to the surface...

The more I concentrate on losing weight, the more I concentrate on HOW MUCH weight I need to lose and how FAT I feel/look...and that makes me feel UnLovable. "How can anyone put up with me when I'm this HUGE?" is just one of the stupid ideas that's been floating around in my head.

Losing weight isn't just about the food or exercise. It's about dealing with the behaviors and psychology that got me here in the first place. Being lovable is something ANYONE can be: ugly, fat, skinny, disabled, it doesn't matter! I can love myself even though I am not perfect. I can love myself BECAUSE I am not perfect. I know it in my head...I just need to work everyday to know it in my heart.

One thing that helps me sometimes is reminding myself why I love Spooky. She is by no means "perfect" -- whatever that means anyways. She is just her crazy, beautiful, ditzy self and I love her!

Spooky walking the fence like she owns the place.

She has bathroom problems, she gets herself stuck in strange places, she doesn't always clean herself very well, but that's okay! There's nothing she can do that will make me NOT love her. Period. I think some people out there feel that way about me (which I am VERY thankful for!) and I like to think that Atua (god/the creator) feels that way about me also. The trick is feeling that way about myself...

Spooky catching some Zs in the sunny spot